the future

As humans we build and surround ourselves with monuments of the past, both in stone and in the ritualistic honoring of events that we see as having shaped our society in such a way that they deserve to be memorialized. A nostalgic grip upon a past none of us have touched in the flesh.

We like to honor leaders and soldiers, some who fought in wars that took place hundreds of years ago. We honor their sacrifice to a cause we only have tangential connections too.

In a way it is this perverse obsession with the past, surrounded by the images, words, and codes of time passed, that can blind us and inhibit our effort to focus on the future, and most importantly: the now. Yet the past can also help us from making the same mistakes over and over, or so they say. If you study history you know that saying is a complete joke, because over the eons one of the things humans have done consistently is make the same mistakes repeatedly.

That doesn’t mean our past is filled with failure, by any means, the human species is quite remarkable and we have built some pretty incredible things, from breathtaking architecture, to the humble microprocessor which is allowing our current form of communication: the web blog.

While we fixate on the past, we can easily forget the tens of thousands who are yet to be born. We neglect aspects of our world, sometimes because of the way we have bound ourselves to our old ways. The environment suffers along with the way we care for people– that being healthcare and financial security. Many would ask: “Have we lost our way?”

A good portion of them would also say that our ‘way’ ends in disaster. Our past cannot save us from our eventual end, which could come a million different ways; dealer’s choice. And yet, my dear reader, you may not have guessed that I am, in fact, not so pessimistic.

We should not seek any shelter in the past, we should live for today and help others so they may do the same. The future, after all, is what we make it. So let’s make it excellent.

the unchangeable past

After the final flicker of the television screen when the room falls into complete darkness and my head hits the pillow, it begins. The past becomes the present in my mind; a mental inquisition of all of my bad decisions, missed opportunities and chances not taken. Nothing short of torture, the grip of my regret tightens around my body like a boa constrictor squeezing the air from my lungs.

I toss and turn while I try to focus on the positive memories, as there are a few of those as well, but on this night they are no respite from the darkness of my past. Stupid, so stupid! Why did I do this, why didn’t I do that!? If only I could go back and change it, make the right decisions, things could be different. An impossibility that hurts the most.

We’re all a collection of the mistakes we made and the choices we chose. A bundle of snap decisions made in the heat of the moment with little thought given, or perhaps in some instances an over abundance of deliberation in which the moment of a better choice passed on by. All the times we shied away from a good thing, for silly reasons. Guarding ourselves against the possibility of being hurt, and missing out on something truly great, even if it was to be fleeting.

In the youthful exuberance of care free days, it is hard to recognize these truths. You can’t see the forest through the trees, you live for the moment and give nary a care for the future. Oh sure, you have ideas in your head about the future, what it will be like and who you will become, but those ideas rarely manifest precisely. Of course you could obsess over your future, spend every day and night working towards it by studying for school or learning this or that, every waking moment in dedication to realize your dreams only to miss out on the present; miss out on your youth. There is a balance that must be found I suppose, such is the state of life and the universe… a balance perhaps, I never found.

Just before sleep finally comes, I tell myself lies. There is plenty of time to experience life, and to make better decisions. To do what I never got the chance to do, be whoever I want to be. I lie to myself and say that anything is possible.

I say, it is no lie, as long as you believe it…